5 Lessons I’ve Learned About Leadership Through Healing

Healing and leadership might not seem like they belong in the same sentence.

But if I’m being honest, I don’t think I truly became a leader until I began healing.

I’ve always been a planner, a builder, a problem-solver. But leadership—the kind that creates safety, inspires trust, and makes room for others to grow—didn’t come from my success. It came from my struggles.

Here are a few lessons I’ve learned about leadership, not from conferences or books, but from walking through heartbreak, burnout, and rebuilding my own life from the ground up.

1. You can’t lead others well if you abandon yourself in the process

For years, I equated leadership with self-sacrifice. I thought being a strong leader meant showing up no matter what, being everything for everyone, and pushing through even when I was running on empty.

But I’ve learned the hard way that constantly abandoning my own needs doesn’t make me a good leader—it makes me an exhausted one. The people I lead don’t need me to be perfect; they need me to be present. And I can’t do that if I’m disconnected from myself.

2. Leadership is less about control, more about creating safety

As a planner, I naturally gravitate toward structure and control. But healing taught me that leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about creating an environment where people feel safe to bring their whole selves.

That means making space for vulnerability on my team. It means checking in—not just on timelines and tasks, but on hearts. It means owning my mistakes and inviting others to do the same without fear of shame or rejection.

People don’t grow when they’re micromanaged. They grow when they feel safe.

3. Your scars can be your superpower

I used to think that if people knew the pain I’d walked through, they wouldn’t respect me as a leader. But the opposite has been true. Sharing pieces of my story (when appropriate) has opened doors to deeper trust and connection.

Healing has taught me that my scars are not weaknesses. They are evidence of survival. And they remind others that they can survive, too.

Leadership is not about being untouched by hardship. It’s about showing others what’s possible on the other side of it.

4. Leading with empathy will always be worth the risk

Empathy makes you vulnerable. It opens your heart to disappointment. It sometimes means getting hurt. But I would rather risk all of that than become someone who leads from a hardened place.

Empathy has allowed me to create meaningful relationships with my team, my clients, and my fellow planners. It’s what turns coworkers into family. It’s what turns vendors into trusted collaborators. And it’s what reminds me, daily, that I’m not in this alone.

5. Healing never ends—and neither does learning

I’m still in process. I’m still learning how to speak up without apologizing. I’m still learning how to ask for help. I’m still learning how to be the kind of leader I would want to follow.

And maybe that’s the point—leadership isn’t a destination. It’s a daily choice to show up honestly, lead with heart, and grow in front of the people you serve.

Leadership in the Wedding Industry Needs More Heart

Whether you’re leading a team of planners or simply leading yourself through a tough season—know this: your healing matters. It changes the way you show up. It softens you in the best way. And it can make you the kind of leader this industry desperately needs.

I’ll never stop learning. I’ll never stop healing. And I’ll never stop fighting for a world where people lead with heart.

From Houston, TX (and beyond) I’m here to walk with you in both business and life

Whether you’re planning your dream wedding or building a business from the ashes—I see you.

Let’s write your next chapter together.

📩 Book a consultation or follow along on Instagram @next_chapter_weddings for encouragement and real conversations.