Finding Your True Identity Beyond Names and Titles

Brandi Swanson
Jun 26
2 min read

By Brandi Swanson | Next Chapter Weddings

Houston, TX — Sharing a journey of identity, loss, and rediscovery

Brandi Swanson smiling outdoors in a white top.

I was born Brandi Nicole De Los Santos — a bubbly and hopeful girl who dreamed early about true love and marriage. I longed to find my person, my forever, and build a life full of love and purpose. That vision fueled me from my earliest days.

At 18, I was juggling a new dance studio I had opened with the whirlwind of young love. I met my first husband, fell deeply in love, and married by 21. For years, I was proud to be Brandi Paris — a name I cherished, connected to my dance academy and my life at that time.

But life is not always what we expect.

My marriage became a painful journey through addiction and emotional abuse. I loved deeply but lost myself and my sense of safety. When I left, I faced something hard to explain. I was no longer the girl I once was.

Brandi De Los Santos, the hopeful dreamer, felt like a stranger.

Brandi Paris, tied to a chapter that ended, felt too heavy to carry.

Later, I remarried and became Brandi Swanson. On paper, it was a new beginning, but inside, I wrestled with losing myself again — caught between titles, names, and the shifting identity tied to relationships.

Brandi Swanson posing on a balcony with greenery behind her.

What I’ve Learned About Finding Your Identity and Self-Worth

Our names can hold meaning, history, and honor, but they don’t define who we truly are.

You are more than a name or title.
You are not the sum of your past relationships or roles.
Your true identity lives in your heart, your values, and the love you give.
You have the power to choose who you become every single day.

To Women Who Wonder “Who Am I?”

One of the hardest parts of healing is finding your identity again after life has reshaped you.

If you’ve ever felt lost or forgotten in the tides of change — whether through relationships, career shifts, or life’s challenges — you are not alone.

You are not defined by what others call you or the roles you play. Your value comes from your courage, your kindness, your passions, and the ways you impact the world.

Brandi Swanson holding a disco ball against a silver backdrop.

Encouragement for Your Journey

Take time to reconnect with your true self. What makes you light up?
Give yourself grace to grow, evolve, and redefine your identity on your own terms.
Surround yourself with people who see you — not your name or title — but the heart behind it.
Remember: Your worth is intrinsic. It doesn’t need validation from external labels.

Final Thoughts

Who you are today is a beautiful, evolving story — one of resilience, growth, and deep authenticity. Celebrate that story. Own your name, your history, but don’t let it limit your future.